The neon sign above the theater flickered, casting a bruised purple glow over the sidewalk. On the poster, a man in a tuxedo was mid-backflip while firing a flare gun at a helicopter. Below the title, the consensus was clear: .

The scene opened with Miller "Action-Comedying" his way through a warehouse. He didn't do a tactical slide; he tripped over a crate of knock-off sneakers, accidentally headbutting a henchman in the process.

"Was that a move?" the henchman groaned, clutching his nose.

The screen cut to black just as an upbeat pop-rock song from 2014 started playing. The audience walked out feeling neither changed nor disappointed. They had been entertained exactly as much as they expected to be.

"Maybe," Miller smirked, reaching for his holster. "But I'm a solid 6.5. And sometimes, that's more than enough to get the job done."

The dialogue was snappy, but not too snappy. For every witty one-liner Miller delivered, he followed it up with a joke about his cholesterol. He wasn't the hero the city deserved, but he was the one they could afford on a mid-range streaming budget.

"Let’s call it a tactical stumble," Miller wheezed, adjusting his tie.

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